


nowadays how am i

by kaipou



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-05 02:25:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16358897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaipou/pseuds/kaipou
Summary: Kyungsoo wanted to check off items off his bucket list and he couldn't stop thinking about the last task on it.Kim Jongin





	nowadays how am i

Kyungsoo remembered the days that seemed so ephemeral, passing through so swift without him able to hold on to it. The day when he scribbled the task list of what he wanted to do, during the time that seemed ruthless, cruel and so short, it was raining cats and dogs. The droplets of water that ricocheted off the tin shed, created a tranquil ambiance for Kyungsoo, a 17 year old boy who wanted to delve further in what he wanted to do.

The honey colored paper he held in his hands, reflected the messy writings of his childish hopes and wishes. Get tanned, bunk school, drink coffee for the first time, spray color… It might seem silly but Kyungsoo didn’t have the money to go for bungee jumping and for foreign trips. Hell, he didn’t even have the money to buy himself a good pair of sneakers. He did enough for his academics so it didn’t even pass his mind to write it down.

The corner of the paper was slightly folded, hiding a small name, a task he rather not do. Yet do. The paper was stuck on the inside of his cupboard door, the writing looking at him back. A slight smile hovered his lips, when he straightened the small folded corner. Kim Jongin. He admired the beautiful syllables of his name, before trailing his thoughts to him. His tanned skin illuminating under the white filaments, the way he bent his body to the waves of the rhythm and his eyes that stared directly at him. 

Kyungsoo lied in his bed, his eyes stuck to the blank ceiling. The rain didn’t stop pouring and Kyungsoo wished it would never. He traveled to a world he paved on his own. A world where it didn’t stop raining and he never stopped dancing. 

\-----------

 

Kyungsoo admitted having a slight crush on Jongin during his first year of high school, all because Baekhyun forced him to it. It was unrequited, of course. Jongin didn’t even know he existed despite being on the same class (although different classrooms). After autumn of that year, Kyungsoo began visiting the dance club, watching Jongin practice his ballet lesson alone. Even though Jongin noticed him a few times or so (since Kyungsoo was the only one there), Kyungsoo went unnoticed during school hours.

To Kyungsoo, Jongin was a dream. A unfulfilling dream.

It was summer next year, when he decided to mark off the tasks off his bucket list. Although he felt extremely cowardly when he scanned the terms, yet Baekhyun pulled him by his arm and screeched at him to complete it. 

Why do you even write these things when you are not even going to complete it? Baekhyun whined and Kyungsoo only sighed, un-linking Baekhyun arms off him.

Of course, Baekhyun did not stay still. He persisted Kyungsoo until he gave up.  
Kyungsoo ignored the teacher’s rantings behind his back, while he ran off giggling, his bag hanging off his shoulder. Baekhyun accompanied him as well, taking the most fun of it. They heaved on their knees when they thought they passed quite the distance from their school. Kyungsoo didn’t look back because he didn’t feel the need to.

The next day was hell for both Kyungsoo and Baekhyun. Getting lashed for bunking classes, and that even in front of the teacher, got them locked in a classroom after school hours. They had to write an essay on self-discipline but they never did. With the blank papers they made airplanes, flying in the air and competing on whose lands first. Kyungsoo’s did, right in front of someone’s shoes while Baekhyun nagged that his airplane was still flying in the air.

Perhaps Baekhyun made his airplane too well.

However, Kyungsoo didn’t really say anything so Baekhyun averted his eyes from his airplane's continuous flight towards Kyungsoo, who stood rigid and eyes fixated on someone. Baekhyun trailed Kyungsoo’s gaze until it fell on someone.

Baekhyun recognized him but didn’t really say anything. The person there bent and took the airplane in his hands, threw it high in the air and let it fly. The person smiled and the three of them watched the plane soar higher and slowly smile hovered on their lips in silence.

That night, Baekhyun texted Kyungsoo,

“Jongin. He knows you.”

“Shut up. He doesn’t even know me. Perhaps he thought me as a junior or something.”

Kyungsoo was stubborn as always. Baekhyun changed the topic to something, like getting tanned soon.  
\--------

Kyungsoo didn’t anticipate the next task on hsi bucket list, which was getting tanned. Well, he couldn’t do much about it since before he knew it, Baekhyun dragged him to the beach and pestered him to play beach ball with him. He texted him two night before and was really highly demanding. Kyungsoo couldn’t have said no.

“Why make a bucket list if not complete it?” 

“My bucket list, not yours.” 

But Kyungsoo really felt light after playing. Like something was dropped off his chest, when he threw the ball to Baekhyun on the other side of the net. 

It was already dark, when Baekhyun and Kyungsoo opted for an ice cream. Kyungsoo chose a chocolate coated while Baekhyun chose a strawberry as usual. Kyungsoo bit off the top part of the ice cream while he listened Baekhyun hum to certain songs. 

The sea waves barely reached their ankles as they avoided the rushing water. Summer wind rustled the crisp leaves of the trees while they savoured the iced treat on their hands.

“I think you should approach him, Kyungsoo. Sneaking on him while he practices ballet is not a good way, I tell you.” Kyungsoo licked off some melted vanilla cream of his fingers before remarking.

“Well, not like you don’t sneak on Chanyeol while he changes clothes in the boy’s lockers.”

“That is different. I mean, at least he acknowledges and tells me shoo away.” 

“I don't need acknowledgement.” 

The conversation stops there and Baekhyun doesn’t dare to remark anything further.

That summer night, when Kyungsoo placed a hand on his chest, he found the fleeting time a curse and a nightmare. How much time is left that he had to ask Jongin to know him? Perhaps like him too?

When he slept that night, he had the same dream. The boy who danced endlessly, following the same tune yet Kyungsoo couldn’t stop staring.

Autumn soon approached and Kyungsoo was happy to see some things off his list scribbled and crossed upon. However, there was some things he could not afford doing. For example buying the sneakers he wanted so bad. He wasted all of his money on some tickets for a dance program that he didn’t even attend. 

Kyungsoo found himself wrapped under his padded jacket and thick scurf soon enough. His hands held on to a cup of Americano which he meant to devour, but he didn’t. Through the foggy window, he continued his rather daily expedition.

Which was undoubtedly, watching Jongin practice ballet. It seemed liked so much time had passed from the time he accidentally stumbled across the club room, the graceful music luring him in. With stacks of papers held in his hands that day, Kyungsoo believed he saw an angel. A beautiful angel, sadly without wings, but the movement of his feet, the touch of the dancer’s ballet shoes and the waves of his fingers and hands made his fly.

Before Kyungsoo knew it, he was falling deep in the trap of emotions and attachment. The ones he couldn’t leave behind.  
The practice time ended quite early that day, the lights flickered off and the front door swung open. The crouched figure of Jongin, with a bag gripped tightly with his right hand, stepped outside in the cold. Kyungsoo noticed Jongin shiver a little bit, since he was barely covered in anything warm.

Kyungsoo took small steps further, fingers gripping the plastic cup a little tightly than earlier. Jongin looked up, most probably from sensing someone’s presence. Their eyes met and Jongin couldn’t help but smile.

“Hey there.” 

Kyungsoo jolted in his stance, but he slowly inched further towards Jongin. Handing over the Americano to him, Kyungsoo bowed slightly and shuffled back to the corridor without a look back. Kyungsoo heard Jongin holler a ‘thank you!’ but Kyungsoo only rushed towards the exit. 

He wanted to look back. 

Crossing off another item on the list, Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel burdened. He thought to himself these were all supposed to be a time pass, a moment where he could have fun without any concern however it didn't seem like it. Every task left looked at him with dreading importance and Kyungsoo couldn’t help but feel wary of it. 

When he saw that particular name scribbled in the bottom, he pretended he didn’t see it. He made the fold more prominent, hiding the name.


End file.
